What it is?

Feeling sick,feeling lonely,feeling destructed,feeling exhausted,don't know why but not feeling allright.Listening to coldplay and thinking about me,myself,my future,my life.Where am I heading?I am not able to figure out what I want,I don't know what I desire,I don't know what I dream of.......nauseating.Even the lyrics match my thoughts or may be I choose to listen to what I am feeling.Most of the times I am happy but there is a different story alltogether today.I am confused with what feelings are over me but I am not happy for sure.May be I need to rest or may be I need to work, work upon myself.
Everybody dreams, and what if you get everything at the time you just don't need them.They turn out to be distractions, distractions from what you actually aimed at or may be what you are aiming at.It happens most of the times when you get too many options which are just too distract you from what you actually are aiming at.May be this is what the case is with me.May be I am happy more than I can take.But this happiness is killing me.I don't want to go back into the time which i've left far behind.I want to move on but its tempting to look back into the hollow years i've left behind, to fill those years with happiness and start everything all over again.But it is possible?I don't know but who else is supposed to know.Its me who has to sort everything out.Its me who has to take decisions,its me who has to decide on my priorities,decide on what's good for me.
The things which I have been dreaming of my entire life have been laid in front of me.I can take them and move back or just leave them for the betterment of future.But where do I head?May be the things I dream of today may not be worthwhile when I achieve them.
What's there in this world that can satisfy my thirst.Something which may be just enough to make me content and satisfy my hunger for more,something which doesn't make me think of any better.
I wish for eternity.I wish for salvation.I wish for freedom of my soul,freedom of doing anything for which I am not answerable even to myself.
I think I need to rest or may be I need to talk.